We have internet access at home via Time Warner Roadrunner. Since cable internet access time can vary depending on the current load, I wanted to find out two things: what is the maximum Mbps of our service (the package we have only lists “high speed internet” which doesn’t jive with any of the verbiage of their current packages) and what is the ACTUAL AVERAGE speed during business hours?

I went to their website, which is a junko portal of the usual news, stocks, weather, etc. Does anyone actually say “Hey, I wonder what’s going on in the world today! I think I’ll check the roadrunner website.” Fortunately, there is a fairly prominent link to their help site.

There are several options for assistance, starting with frequently asked questions (has anyone ever actually found an answer to their question in a FAQ? I never have. I’m like that kid in history class who, when the teacher asks if there are any questions, wants to know if there is any truth to the rumours of Louis XIV’s odd toilet habits).

Then there is “Ask TWC”, “an interactive agent available 24/7 to answer questions about your Road Runner service.

I asked “What is the Mbps of Roadrunner?

It replied “Here are the Road Runner topics I can help you with” and presented me with a list of FAQ categories. I tried “speed” instead of Mbps–same thing.

Rather than try the next option, a chat room, which I assumed would be a similar adventure in bot-speak, I sent them an email. The answer:

Thank you for contacting us. To better assist you, please contact the Road Runner National Help Desk at 919-595-4892/910-763-4638. This department is available for assistance 24 hours a day 7 days a week.

Excuse me Mr. Major Media Company, but is that the best you can do? Three types of online, interactive customer support ending with “give us a call?” What are the chances that your low-paid service worker, who is probably in Bangalore despite the local area code, is going to be able to point me to stats of the actual average system speed?

Anybody know an osx widget or other download that is capable of measuring this? I’ve seen them for measuring web traffic; my assumption is that this isn’t something that can be measured on my end.

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